Theology of toys
Capitalism - (S)he who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna - (S)he who plays with the most toys, wins.
Judaism - (S)he who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
Catholicism - (S)he who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican - They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
Branch Davidians - (S)he who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism - There is no toy maker.
Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling yours.
Baha'i - All toys are just fine with us.
Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Mormonism - Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second . . .
Hedonism - Hang the rule book! Let's play!
7th Day Adventist - (S)he who plays with their toys on Saturday, loses.
Church of Christ - (S)he whose toys make music, loses.
Baptist - Once played always played.
Jehovah's Witnesses - (S)he who "places" the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism - (S)he whose toys can talk, wins.
Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play.