Who is Jack Schitt?

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Keith M

Who is Jack Schitt? The lineage is finally revealled. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt. Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep N. Schitt Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and of course the twins: Deep and Dip.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them she wanted to keep her previous name: Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and together the produced a very nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseperable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in newspaper announced the Schitt-Happen wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now, when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt" you can say, Oh yes I do.

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